S.A.F.E.

As most of you know, our nephew, Nathan, is autistic. He actually has "Autistic Spectrum Disorder" and he is relatively high on the "spectrum." What that means is that his future looks bright. He currently attends Kindergarten with his TSS (teacher) and is doing well. We are told his speech will improve over time and he may be "mainstreamed" at some point with other children his age.

Nathan (at 5-years old)
always has a smile!

Not every family touched by autism is as lucky. Autism is a lifelong learning disability, and many who suffer from it will never learn to communicate, socialize, or live any kind of "normal" life. Many of them will one day be institutionalized when their families can no longer care for them. Nathan should be able to join the "mainstream" of society, not only because his condition is relatively mild and he was diagnosed and began therapy at an early age, but also because he has a wonderful, loving family devoted to his education and progress. We feel very fortunate to be a part of Nathan's life.

You can learn more about autism and S.A.F.E. (Supporting Autism and Families Everywhere) by visiting their website, www.autismsafe.org. SAFE's website contains a number of additional links to other sites concerning autism.

While Nathan is mastering speech and doing very well in school, he does display some unusual behavior from time to time, including "stimming" noises and hand motions, and an inability to sit still (what 4-year old can sit still?). While most people are understanding and very kind, Nathan and his family did run into an extremely ignorant and intolerant woman at a hockey game in January, 2003. Below is a letter to the editor I wrote in response to that encounter.

Autistic boy should be welcomed,
not glared at, at hockey game

I’m writing in defense of autistic children and their families after an incident at the First Union Arena on Wednesday, January 29. My sisters attended the hockey game that night with their children, one of whom is autistic, and encountered a rude woman seated in the row in front of them who was completely intolerant of my three year old nephew and his disability.

Nathan, who will turn four in April, has autistic spectrum disorder. He is only mildly autistic, and attends class five days a week to improve his speech, social, and motor skills. He doesn’t speak yet, but he laughs, cries, and plays like other children. He is loving, empathetic, and very much aware of what goes on around him, and like most children, he loves hockey. His behavior isn’t much different from that of a “normal” child. He has trouble sitting still and he’s very vocal, making frequent noises similar to humming. At a fancy restaurant, this might be inappropriate, but at a hockey game?

We’ve been to hundreds of public outings and Nathan has never bothered anyone before encountering the lady sitting in Row P, Section 112. After enduring repeated glares, my sister finally asked the woman to be patient and explained Nathan’s disability. To her utter amazement, the woman suggested that my sister keep Nathan at home to be more considerate of other people’s feelings! Her ignorance is inexcusable in these enlightened times, implying that her right to enjoy life supersedes the rights of those with physical or mental challenges!

Even more dismaying is that the woman next to her, who identified herself as a teacher of mentally challenged children, actually took a similar view. When my other sister suggested that the women educate themselves about children with disabilities, the “teacher” agreed that children like my nephew would be better off left at home. Could a woman who works with mentally challenged children actually believe that they should be confined to their homes so they don’t inconvenience others?

Both women should be ashamed and embarrassed by the depth of their ignorance. Even more shameful is the fact that they targeted a three-year old and a young mother who already faces daily challenges greater than most parents could ever comprehend.

There’s no place in our world for intolerance. Every person has the right to enjoy life, regardless of their disabilities. Over one half million people in the U.S. today have autism or some form of pervasive developmental disorder. Autism and its associated behaviors have been estimated to occur in as many as 1 in 250 individuals. Autism knows no racial, ethnic, or social boundaries. Please visit the website of Supporting Autism & Families Everywhere (SAFE) at http://www.autismsafe.org and open your hearts and minds to the challenges autistic people and their families face. And to the woman who teaches mentally challenged children, if you really believe that people with disabilities should be excluded from public events, please consider a different line of work. In the meantime, if you’re truly looking for a quiet, child-free evening, dinner at a fine restaurant might be a wiser choice than a hockey game.

Want to see a picture of the mean lady?

This page was last updated April 28th, 2003.